About Me

Growing up, I was always different than other kids and never seemed to fit in.  I was very stubborn, opinionated, and lonely.  Sadly, even in my own family the feelings of peace and belonging eluded me.  No one truly seemed to understand me on a deep and personal level.  I believed that the world was against me as there was discord in my family and my own body. 

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What’s the use? Why bother? Why do these sorts of things always happen to me?  These were the types of questions that I asked myself daily.  To which I never received an answer.

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It was easy to be filled with anger, rage, and bitterness. I allowed these emotions to take over my mind and body and was riddled with health issues.  I was triggered all the time and would explode in anger at the littlest thing, then immediately feel guilty and beat myself up for the outburst.  The anger was a cover up for the pain and sadness that I felt; however, I was not able to recognize the control that it had over my life.

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Then came the feelings of being lost and defeated, no doubt as a result of the numerous health problems, a pessimistic demeanor, and sensitivities.  In many ways I felt as if I was a prisoner inside a cage.  I perceived that I was abandoned and worthless and that I was less than others.  I believed that I must have done something really wrong and felt like I had a target on my back.  Isolation became my friend as it was easier to be alone so I would not disappoint others.  At some point along the way, I gave up hope that my situation could ever change. 

 

During my childhood, teen, and early adult years, I knew of God; however, I never knew Him. It was a one-way relationship with Him pursuing me.  As a result, I spent the majority of my life allowing darkness to consume my mind, body, and spirit. The flame within my spirit was barely illuminating.  Darkness almost won; however God prevailed! 

 

In 2007, I started attending church more regularly and while I was baptized as an infant, I still felt distant to God. In March of 2009 at the age of 36, I decided to get baptized again. Over the course of a few years, the messages on Sunday mornings really started to resonate with me. One morning I woke up with this strong sensation in my gut.  It was this overwhelming feeling that something needed to change and that something was me. Gulp! It was quite the epiphany when I realized that four years had passed since I was baptized and though I logically knew I was supposed to give it all to Jesus, I was still trying to control every aspect of my life. I didn’t trust God enough to give up a little bit of control, let alone all of it. I was at a breaking point and needed answers, wisdom, and guidance so I surrendered and turned it all over to Him. I will always remember the day that I got on my knees and cried out for God to transform me.  When I turned my life, relationships, and possessions over to God, I prayed for wisdom for what the next steps might be. Immediately I had a sense that this was bigger than me and I needed help.  In order for me to shift out of this perpetual negative thought pattern, I sought out a faith based professional counselor.  

 

Given that I was still very angry and a black and white thinker, she encouraged me to explore the feeling of gratitude.  Being grateful was a foreign concept, so I started with writing down three things I was appreciative of every day. The change inside began within days of starting this process.  My mindset started to shift as I began to recognize that my coping mechanisms were unhealthy. There were many trapped and buried emotions that needed to be addressed.

 

As I was developing a real passion for health and desired to understand more of how God created our bodies to heal on their own, I uncovered research that showed how suppressed emotions can lead to physical manifestations within the body.  Much to my surprise I felt God encouraging me to register for classes to become a Traditional Naturopath.  As my knowledge increased in health and wellness, I very quickly realized that unless there is full integration of mind, body, and spirit, the body will remain unbalanced. It was at this time that I decided to dive into my unhealthy emotions. 

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The process of exploring these dark and hidden emotions was painful. However, I never imagined that the outcome would be so beautiful.  As my faith in God increased, our relationship became personal and intimate instead of transactional.  The walls that barricaded my broken heart slowly and gently began to crumble as I allowed the love of Christ to seep in. Life began to look differently as I experienced hope and encouragement.

  

My internal light began to shine brighter so I began to reach out and share my faith to inspire others. Friends, family, and acquaintances were in awe of my shift and noticed that I was having fun, something that I didn't partake in before.  Several inquired about the process that I used to transition into the confident and faith-filled person that I am today.   

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God showed me that all things can be used for good, even the experiences that were so unpleasant growing up.  He also revealed that my sensitivities are actually a huge part of spiritual gifts and essential to the way that He communicates with me.  

 

My uncovered purpose in life is to shine light into the darkness for others and help set them free from what is keeping them from becoming the person that God has designed them to be.

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Do you want to partner with what God has planned for your life?